I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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