All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
