DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
