You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
