Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize