Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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