I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
