You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize