i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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