a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Welp...herpes.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
