angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
