Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize