I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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