Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can I color on your dick again?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter