so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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