She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
