I love black thongs
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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