Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I need to calm my uterus...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
