What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
