just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
