Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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