apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
This is my gift to your gina
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
