i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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