u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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