are you so shy because you have an std?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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