There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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