we made out on top of his cat.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
