he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
