I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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