Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize