i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
