My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
