just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
