I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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