Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you still have your period?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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