she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
