i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
