I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
