i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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