If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
