Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.