pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world