You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"