I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
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I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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