well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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