You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
