i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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