Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am in a vortex of obligation.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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