you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I love you. Go after that dick
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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