Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
