YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
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I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
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By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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