I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
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Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
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Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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