we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
