Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize