this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
