Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
