also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize