better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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